Am I the problem? Or is this whole country just vibes and heartbreak? Because honestly everything in this country feels like spiritual warfare and emotional violence. I can’t count the number of times I sigh and hiss in one day, you might be wondering what’s wrong? Let me run you through a day in the life real quick.

I wake up around 9, not because I slept well, but because sleep is just a break from worrying these days. I check my phone, and guess what? Nothing. No job alerts. No interview invites. Not even a “thanks for applying.”

Just silence.

The kind that makes you wonder if your Gmail is broken or if the universe is just ignoring you. 

Then I start my usual morning routine I start applying again, Jobslin, LinkedIn, Indeed, JobsbyAramide, Jobberman, think of all the job sites that has been in existence. And don’t even get me started on Indeed. That platform needs its own rant. Before you know it, it’s noon already, I’ve applied to like 15 jobs in one day. I’m not even exaggerating. From content writer to bus driver to chemical engineer. I even applied for a managing director role once, lmao.

At this point, anything will do. I just need to feel like I’m doing something, anything.

Now it’s time to get out of bed, I’m already hissing again. What am I going to eat? Oh God, abeg. Bread and beans again? At this rate, I might as well just plant beans in my backyard and go into full-time farming. I say let me even check my account balance and guess what? GTBank is at it again

Come on now, GTBank. Why today? Why??

Why choose violence this morning? Why now? when all I want to do is confirm if I can buy ₦500 worth of peace? Server down again. At this point, I can’t even cry. Hunger has humbled me. But I must find something to eat. 

Let me open Snapchat to rant small. I’m pretty sure my streak partners are tired of me. I don’t even blame them, even I’m tired of myself. I send my usual morning rant, then upload 300 pictures of the clothes I’m selling. I end the story with one controversial clickbait🌚, because you must open my story o. That’s my own digital marketing strategy lmao.

I give up on any food and settle for garri. No groundnut, no sugar. Then I step outside to breathe small , take the dogs for a walk. But even outside is stressful. Everyone’s just dragging themselves through the day. People’s faces look like mine, tired, broke, and surviving on autopilot.

I come back inside, open X. First tweet I see? One Wet3 girl just bought a car. Another one bought a flat and me I’m here trying to see if I can soak garri with cold water without insulting my ancestors. And for a second, I start asking myself, Am I the idiot here? What am I doing wrong? I still have that ₦150k loan hanging on my head. No job. No income. Just vibes and prayers. Or should I sign up too? 🌚

At the end of the day, I get a message from HR. From one of the jobs I applied to earlier. They want to schedule a meeting. I just stare at the message. No reaction. No joy. 

Because deep down, I already know how this goes. It’s either one “we’ll get back to you” that never comes, or one long email that starts with “we regret to inform you…”

Ah. HR, please.

You will regret you informed me o